Random Tuesday Thoughts (Not for the easily offended)
While I am truly, truly enjoying the Mom Dot blog party, I can abosolutely not pass up the Rando Tuesday Thoughts created by the Un Mom (who has a kick ass new site layout BTW), with help from the Neurotic Mom (I’m sensing a theme, here) and boy, am I glad its here.
Joshua is starting to crawl. He does the ‘wounded soldier’ where he drags himself across the floor. I was lying with him while I was doing my drops and he would not leave the computer alone. He just dragged himself in circles as I tried to escape.
Jacob decided to pull the couch cushions off the couch in the front room, drag them in the living room and make a fort. It took me about an hour of saying ‘put those away’ before he started to (he’s sick, therefore apparently deaf). The cat took the opportunity to torture the Hamster, causing the entire cage to plummet to the floor, scattering hamster food, turd and bedding everywhere.
The hamster seems to be okay, but the crash scared the shit out of Josh. Literally. I’ve never actually seen it in person. Cat attacks Hamster, Hamster cage falls, baby shits pants.
So I clean the baby, pick him up and run him up to his crib for a nap. He decides it’d be fun to spit up on me, which is actually something that never happens. I drop him in and run to clean up.
Head downstairs. Vacuum hamster destruction. I return tot he couch to grab a sip of my diet beverage when I see Jake looking down quizzically at his waistline. Curious, he pulls his shirt up to reveal a GIANT BONER sticking out of the top of his pants.
At this point, I feel violated. Jake was blessed with (or had inherited, as my husband likes to say) a huge package. Without going into too much detail, Jake will either be very popular or incredibly feared later on in life. At birth, he was hung like a 20 year old. When Jake gets a GIANT BONER, it pops right out of the waistband.
Could someone please tell me how to react to that? It was like a train wreck. I didn’t want to see it but it was so hard to miss. I calmly asked him to ‘please quit playing with his rod’ and walked out of the room to compose myself before I laughed and he decided that boners are funny.
I’m not feeling well today, there’s a cold going around and it slaps me across the face every time anyone in my family gets it. Since I’ll be headed to NY in a few weeks, I’m trying to get some time in with my friends, so I made plans to go to Karaoke tonight after I put the husband and children to bed. Since I’m all sick and raspy, I’m seriously considering a shot of whiskey and some Janis Joplin.
I don’t know if this is a random post, but it sure was a random day. It’s almost 5 and I’m still in my jammies. Ryan is on his way home so I have to go find something to cook and I imagine shower the day away. Head on over to the Un Mom and the neurotic Mom to join in on the Random Tuesday fun!
November 18 2008 11:44 am | Random Tuesday Thoughts
November 18th, 2008 at 11:55 am
O.M.G. that is HILARIOUS!!!!! thanks for participating!
November 18th, 2008 at 12:02 pm
Bwahhahhhhahh! Dude. Um, I would have no idea how to react to that. I think I would point and laugh. Here’s hoping my son doesn’t get too scarred for life when that happens in the future (although I’m pretty sure it won’t be sticking out of his pants).
You’re linky’d!
November 18th, 2008 at 12:07 pm
Ay, this has been a problem with Big Guy (and it’s not the reason for his nickname, by the way) practically since birth. I thought all kids discovered their joy sticks that early until Boots came along. He only recently found his at age 3.
And I never know what to say either, though I’ll admit both Dad and I were laughing uproariously into the pillows when Big Guy was about 2 and we heard him wailing over the baby monitor. “MOMMY!!!!!! It won’t SIT DOWN!!!”
Usually, I try to keep a neutral tone and tell him that it’s something he needs to do in private. He’s 5 now and mostly understands that, though I’ll sometimes catch him going at it in the livingroom at home. Thankfully, it’s not been an issue outside the house so far, because both his grandmothers would JUST keel over if they saw it.
November 18th, 2008 at 12:22 pm
LMAO!
I had a similar reaction when I discovered that w/ my eldest!
It freaked my ass OUT.
however, it is completely NORMAL and as I discovered, even little baby men get morning wood..lmao..
In fact I was confused as to why my oldest would cry and grab his diaper, until one day I discovered that his, winkie, was getting all squished in his diaper & then, ahem, when it ’stood at attention’ it got PAINFULLY squashed..heh…
when the second boy was born, it was old hat…lol..
November 18th, 2008 at 12:32 pm
DO NOT POINT AND LAUGH!!!
Trust me on this…
November 18th, 2008 at 2:21 pm
Oh. my. lord. I was still reacting to the hamster-crash-baby poop situation when the boner happened. Now I am dead from laughing.
And I am not prepared for this boy thing. My son is two, and I don’t know if I’m ready for that stuff!
November 18th, 2008 at 2:34 pm
Ok, that’s AWESOME. Love your post. I know what you mean about the colds, they’re definitely going around. Peanut and I are both a little stuffy. If you have time and want a quick fix, try some of my Chicken Soup:
http://michellesamom.blogspot.com/2008/10/sicko.html
I just made another batch today… ahh cold and flu season
November 18th, 2008 at 3:06 pm
Lol - well you had quite a day!! Hope you don’t catch the cold btw!
November 18th, 2008 at 3:17 pm
OMG, this was hilarious! I’m feeling glad right now that I don’t have a boy! (although with a pre-teen daughter we have the menstuation/hormones issue, so not such a walk in the park)
Hope you’re feeling better!
November 18th, 2008 at 3:46 pm
You there’s going to be a day that you discover he’s started jerking his chain right? hahahaha That’s too funny.
It’s natural. I’d just ignore it and not make a big deal about it. Last thing you want is to make it a ‘bad’ thing or traumatize him. lol
November 19th, 2008 at 5:40 am
I’ve, luckily, not had to see that in a while. My kids are now showering in private and if there are boners, they don’t let me know, and I’ll good with that. ;D
But your account is hilarious!
November 21st, 2008 at 9:42 am
I just about peed myself reading the part about Jake’s boner AND I’M AT WORK! It’s a little diffucult to explain what I am laughing when I shouldn’t be reading it here to begin with.
Thanks for brightening my Friday!